Letters To My Father

I know I am a bit late with this post but I figured there was no need to rush when it comes to my Father.

In a few months it shall be five years since I stood by you holding your hand telling you how much I loved you, as I began to imagine my life without you in it. Well, it hurt like hell then, but it hurts just a little less now. This past week mom turned the big 60 and we "tried" to give her a surprise birthday party, but it was soon to no longer be a surprise when she refuses to cooperate with us. I definitely missed you the most this weekend while trying to prepare the house for moms party. Everything became overwhelming at the last minute and all I could say to myself was "if my dad were here this would all be done in no time" and at my lowest point I looked over to the banister and could see you bright as day smiling at me saying everything would be just fine.

To be honest when I planned the party it never crossed my mind that it was Fathers Day weekend. So, very quickly I had to pull myself together and prepare myself to look at all the balloons and happy families out with their fathers on this beautiful day, and lets not forget the facebook statuses. I had to ask GOD for the strength, but I swear we had dinner in my dreams that night.

Auntie always makes an attempt to visit your grave site without me because she doesn't want to see me cry, but you know me I find out anyways. It is like a little old birdy from the beautiful heavens whispers in my ear to give me a heads up. I hope you like the flowers we left you they were beautiful. I miss you so much but just have to remind myself that you are now pain free.


My last memory of us together is at the hospital as I kissed your hand and tears fell from both of our eyes. One day I will see you again I know, but I am just not ready yet, I have so much more to make you proud of before I leave this earth. By the way I know you told mom to tell us to behave and I'm sorry if we have left you disappointed but we are only human and we try. I miss you and love you oh so dearly and may you never be forgotten.

HAPPY FATHERS DAY DADDY!!!!!